Winter BlossomCrimson battlefield,
Silent snow falls on the dead.
Peace for the living.
Explication:
This is an original poem written in a haiku form, with a standard 5-7-5-syllable format. A haiku usually involves a theme of a season, so this poem describes the aftermath of a battle scene in the middle of winter. The pure white landscape is stained with the red of blood. However, with an end to the war, peace is restored, so the war is not in vain.
I tried to use some literary devices in the poem, though it is difficult to fit much in such a short poem. Alliteration of the sound “s” is used in the line “silent snow.” This is also a personification of snow. A haiku stresses on imagery, so the words selected are meant to appeal to the senses, such as “crimson” and “silent.”
This poem fits the theme of war as a calm and still snapshot of war.
Cool poem!!! I like how you use crimson instead of red, it makes it much more interesting and unique. I also like the last line (Peace for the living) because it contrasts with the war on the battlefield for the soldiers/dead. Good job!!!
ReplyDeleteRico, I think he used "crimson" instead of red because he needed to satisfy the syllable-requirements.
ReplyDeleteBtw Bagman, I think you're supposed to post your own analysis of each poem in your blogs so we can better understand them?
It's a very simple poem, which isn't a bad thing. You should give it a title.
-Hen
Wow, your poem is filled with a lot of intense imagery. I love the line "silent snow falls on the dead"- it's so eerie, and it brings to mind a silent empty field of snow, with the dead buried underneath. It also goes to show that everything carries on even though the people are dead, especially with the line that follows it "peace for the living." The snow contrasts with the warm houses the living are living in.
ReplyDeleteGreat job!
Even though you did probably use crimson instead of red to make it fit the haiku requirements, it has a much better connotation for your poem as it evokes bloodshed or violence in itself and added to a battlefield it provides a great visual image. I like your alliteration with "silent snow." The peace with the living really contrasts with the bloodshed killing the dead.
ReplyDeleteI might improve it by perhaps giving more emphasis on whether the dead are happy or unhappy, which doesn't really make sense, reading it back. I mean in the first line it's unhappy and the last line is happy and the middle one's kind of in the middle, I think making it more like one of the lines would emphasize the other one even more.
I like how you utilized juxtaposition with the crimson blood and the silent white snow. That is very strong imagery! After reading the last line, it almost seems as if time has stopped, but the reader knows that chaos has ensued just prior. This poem is very thought provoking and I can see why its been commented on so many times. Well done Larry!
ReplyDeleteNice poem Larry. There's a lot of contrast: the red on the snow, and also the peace that comes with snow vs the chaos and horror of the battle. That's a lot to fit into 3 lines, so good job. It definately impacts the reader.
ReplyDeleteI really like this poem Larry, great work! I love how you were able to impact the reader so well with such a small amount of words. Like Bridget I really like the contrast with the snow and calmness of snow with the red and chaos of war. Great work!
ReplyDeleteI think this poem was well-written in that although it is very short, it is intensely packed with vivid imagery, strong ideas and emotions, and your word choice was good. Sometimes it is a bit of a wonder how so many pictures and feelings can be expressed or felt in just 3 lines. Great job!
ReplyDeleteGreat poem Larry, it creates a vivid image, especially with the contrast between "crimson battlefield" and snow. It is well written, and you can feel the scene through 3 short lines. great job!
ReplyDeleteInteresting poem! The description of the battlefield creates a very vivid mental image. I like the way you not only recognize the success in death as well as the sadness. Even with the short, structured nature of haikus, you are able to capture the feeling.
ReplyDeleteThis was a really good poem Larry. The contrast between the first and last line is very powerful. I also really liked the vivid imagery used in this poem. It made it very memorable. Great job!
ReplyDeleteReally nice poem Larry! I agree that the second line is particularly powerful and contains some really intense imagery.
ReplyDeletelarry that was really well done!
ReplyDeleteI love how within the first few words, i was imagining a bloody battlefiend right after war. The wordchoice is excellent and adds to the effect, also the way you added that the snow is falling makes the whole war seem more final. Snow is silent and slow, only piling on stationary objects, so it shows that everyone is unmoving and dead
GREAT JOB!
Nice poem Larry! This is another fine example of how even such a short poem like a haiku can convey such powerful imagery. I'm not sure what you theme is, but i'm guessing it is war, and if it is this poem fits very nicely.
ReplyDeleteDZAM LARRY! "Crimson battlefield" immediately made me think of a red battlefield. And then to follow, you used "Silent snow falls on the dead." Two lines that together create the most clear image in my head. I like how the poem is so harsh, but the words used seem almost calm. Those were three lines of brilliance larry, extremely well done!!!
ReplyDeleteI really like the way you contrasted the bloody battles and the bloody battlefield with the last line 'peace for the living'. Very powerful imagery which is created by your choice of descriptive words! Even though this is such a short poem, it really captures the readers' attention and paints a clear image in my head about the bloody battles that went on. Good job Larry!
ReplyDeleteLike everyone else, I liked the imagery and the contrast between the crimson battlefield (harsh, colourful) and the silent snow (light, no colour).
ReplyDeleteI kind of took the poem in a different way than everyone else, though. I don't really agree with Alex about whether the dead are "happy" or "unhappy"... I think it's a little irrelevant.
From my interpretation, you are telling of the
sad idea that there can only be peace for the living when there are dead. The poem kind of implies that war/battle must be fought for peace, which is kind of ironic because battle itself is a breach of peace. People must die to live, battle must be fought for peace, it must be loud and destructive for the world to be silent again.
...Or at least that's how I took it.
Anyways, nice job! The haiku probably took quite a bit of thought.
nice poem larry!This is a very sorrow filled poem. It is dark, but produces great imagery of the battlefield. It dispalys that war shouldn't be taken lightly.
ReplyDeleteGreat job!
Woah, I like this poem. I love how you use the words crimson to describe the battle field, then white snow, and then the title is "Winter Blossom" - and winter blossoms are white and red. Although it is short, it is very well thought out. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThere are a lot of comments on this but I think this is because it is so impactful! I love how you made even the bloody battlefield beautiful with the vivid description of the crimson and the snow silently falling. It is a sad thing to have someone lose their life and I think why this is so powerful is because you point out that this happens so that others can have peace. Well done!
ReplyDelete